“If I would give you any gift, it would be that you would see yourself as I see you”.

I want to begin by addressing that I did not give credit to the author of who wrote the quote above. I didn’t give credit because truth be told, I dont know who said it first. When I look through scripture, I can see God saying this, in one form or another, time and time again. God is constantly giving his people a glimpse into how he sees them. When he destroys Sodom and Gomorrah, we see his anger and disappointment in his Children. When he chooses Paul to be his messenger to the gentiles, we see the potential he sees in Paul; and of course when he sends his Son to die on the cross, we see his unfathomable desire to be connected to his creation.

This will connect later, but for a brief moment I want to tell you about my friend, we will call him Jack. Jack was a student I worked with during a Restorative Justice course. On Monday, Jack sat down as an innocent man. He spun for us an elaborate story of how he had been put in prison for a crime he didn’t commit. He had the details, dates and names to build a half believable story of how he had simply been a victim of bad fortune.

On Tuesday, Jack sat down as a man who’s heart was heavy with conviction. He interrupted me as I began to ask the group questions about their homework, asking for a chance to speak. He delivered an oscar worthy apology; at which point he had my attention. From where I sit now, looking back, I truly believe it was a sincere one.  He apologized for lying to our table and openly admitted that he was guilty, filling us in on which parts of his story had been true and which he had fabricated.

On Wednesday when Jack sat down, he was interested more in listening than speaking. He took notes, like a child excited on their first day of school. He engaged with the material, answered any question that were asked of him and smiled for the first time since I’d met him. He was focused and alert, despite telling us he hadn’t been able to sleep well since starting the course (He had too much to think about, he said).

Sorry to break the theme, but I don’t know of any word to describe Jack on Thursday. He did my job for me. He answered the questions I didn’t know how to ask. He told us his life story, a story he had never told to anyone. He told us of his childhood and his desire to be someone someday. He told us of the things he did to chase that dream, the false promises he had believed, the lies he had told himself to justify a life that puts Quinten Tarantino films to shame.

You see, Jack was the first inmate who’s stories were actually hard to stomach for me. I thought that between the stories I had heard and the ones I had witnessed first hand that I had seen the full spectrum of crime. I thought I was finally becoming capable and competent at doing prison ministry, a thought that God quickly shut down. God used Jack to remind me how deep these waters really are and how poor I am at swimming. When Jack finished speaking, he broke the staring contest he had been having with his shoes and looked into my eyes. I saw the eyes of a man who believed he was beyond saving, the eyes of a man who had been blind for so long that he had forgotten what it was like to see. I had nothing to say to him. I cleared my throat and began to tell him the only story I had ever heard that was less believable than his. I told him of a God who, knowing the horrors we would use our lives to commit, came and died on a cross. I told him about the promises that God has given us and the life he has called us to. I told him the story of the Gospel and I myself discovered why we call it “the good news”.

I had the privilege of welcoming Jack into the Kingdom of Heaven on that Thursday afternoon. When people ask me why I do my Job, I think from now on Ill simply respond by saying “because I get to give people the gift of seeing themselves as God sees them”.

Right now, I’m sitting near the beach where I spent my morning working out in delightful weather. The view is jaw dropping, it inspires me to both get up and go live life while also beckoning me to stay exactly where I am, clinging to it until the sun has gone down. In front of me I have a journal, written by a man who many would label a mass murderer, a hitman and a monster; written by a man whom I now call my friend. This is Jacks journal. I wasn’t sure what I would find hidden in these pages and I was hesitant to open it at first. I’m glad I did; because Its allowing me to view Jack as God views him. Hidden amidst all the different things in this journal there is a letter from Jack to his daughter. The letter begins…

“My dear, If I could give you any gift, it would be that you would see yourself as I see you.”